Yesterday I wrote about the “F” word... “Forgiveness.” And today I wanted to finish off a few thoughts I had on the subject. I don’t know about you, but when it comes to forgiveness, It’s pretty serious. There was a time back in the early 90’s, when I was in Bible college in Florida, that I let un-forgiveness into my life and it totally shut me down from the presence of God. It was horrible. It turned into a very dark period of my life. It wasn’t good. It usually takes me having to go through something 100 times before I learn the lesson, but that’s one time in my life I learned the lesson after only one time. But having the personality that I have, I tend to look for creative ways of arriving at a destination. I like to go a different route than the one that’s obvious or the one that everyone else is taking. Kind of like a “spiritual trail blazer.” And it’s the same with this whole forgiveness thing. I know that I’m suppose to forgive even if my brother sins against me 490 times in one day like in Matthew I8:22 (which is a lot of times to have to forgive someone in a single day if you ask me). So I have this concept I like to call “Creative Forgiveness” and it’s pretty ingenues. It’s a great way to take the sting out of having to forgive someone. It’s such an awesome idea I should probably try and put together a manual for it or something. Here’s how it works. In the back of your mind you know that you’re going to forgive that person for whatever it is that they did to you because it’s what’s required of us as Christ Followers. But before you actually do the whole “forgiving thing” just choose one of the following options before you forgive them. It’s called “Creative Forgiveness” and the concept totally makes it easier to forgive someone when they’ve wronged you. Here’s just a few options to choose from (I’m still working on the list and it’s by no means exhaustive):
- Option 1 Continuously think about what the person did to you and replay the event over and over in your mind until it doesn’t bother you anymore. The more you re-live it, the easier it is to deal with. You know, the whole familiarity thing. WARNING... if this is the option you choose, it may take a very long time and Jesus may possibly come back before you feel better and the whole “being left behind thing” isn’t that appealing.
- Option 2 Lay in bed at night thinking about all the scenarios of how you can get back at them. Even though you know you won’t actually follow through with any of your awesome plans, it sure feels good to imagine their demise in your mind.
- Option 3 Tell 1 or 2 other people just so that somebody else knows what that person did to you. Because it sure feels good to have somebody else on your side, right?
- Option 4 Punch that person in the face (if you’re the physical type) because that will make all your problems go away. You know, some people like to jog or workout to relieve stress... you just like to punch people, it’s all the same thing (in theory) if you think about it. If you choose this option, you may want to check the laws in your state first... unless, of course, you want to start a prison ministry.
- Option 5 Give the person a piece of your mind first. If you can’t do it in person just attack them verbally in a letter, an email, on facebook, or in a blog because God knows that you need to vent all those emotions before you can actually forgive them.
- Option 6 Ask God to do something really bad to them (anything short of death) because you know that He loves you way more than the other person who hurt you. And by causing something tragic to happen to them, it will only draw them closer to God so it’s a win-win, right?
OK. The list is totally a joke, of course. But the funny thing is that we actually do some of those same things (or things similar to them) before we forgive someone. When you read the list of options, they sound ridiculous, right? Then why is it that we actually follow-through with some of them rather than just forgiving the Bible way?... which is forgiving with no retaliation, no stipulations, no revenge, no paybacks, just forgiveness. I mean, I just did some of these things from this list the day before yesterday... it’s crazy! Even though the things I did were just in my mind, I meditated on them for way too long. And that’s where the real me is... in what I meditate on. I can look OK on the outside and do all the right stuff but what I am when I’m alone, the things I allow my thoughts to linger on, that’s the real Jim. And I don’t like what I am. Man, I’m soooo sinful. And that God puts up with followers like me is totally amazing. He’s so merciful. Now don’t go judging me until you look at yourself first. Do you lay in bed and think about that thing that the person did to you all night (or as soon as your eyes open in the morning)? Do you think of ways to get back at them? Does the very thought of that person make your blood boil? If you answered , “yes” to any of those then you probably need to forgive them still. So what are you waiting for? Why are you allowing yourself to be tortured and held captive to that thing? By forgiving them, you’re not saying what they did was right... what they did was wrong, no doubt. But by forgiving, you’re allowing the Spirit of God to work on your behalf. And forgiveness is one of the things that distinguishes you as a true Follower of Christ. Because when you understand how much God has freely forgiven you for, there’s no possible way that you’re gonna hold something against someone else because it doesn’t make sense. (think about all the stuff God has forgiven you of)
So, how do you react when someone hurts you? Do you have any creative things that you try to incorporate into the way you forgive to make it easier? Or is using the “F” word easy for you? Just curious...
Trying to Be Quick to Forgive,
Jim
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