Breakthrough or Breakdown

Breakthrough or Breakdown. Sounds like a clever sermon title, I know. But that’s not what it is. The other day Me and MJ were talking and trying to ‘encourage’ each other (and no, that’s not code for ‘we were arguing’...we were literally trying to encourage one another, haha!) and I made the comment to her that we just needed breakthrough (for the particular situation we were facing). And immediately she said, “or we’re gonna breakdown.”

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like if you didn’t get some relief or find the solution for what you were facing (i.e., breakthrough) you were gonna literally lose it (aka- breakdown)?

Well what do you do? 

There’s only a few choices...

You can quit.

You can find something to temporarily take your mind off of the situation.

You can ignore the situation (which usually isn’t possible).

 Or you can press-in and fight to get closer to God through the situation. 

Those are the only choices. We’re in a very difficult season right now and it’s extremely tough. And we’re needing to make some hard decisions. And on top of the decisions ‘life’ is hitting us square in the face. Here, I’ll give you a glimpse of what’s going on ‘this week’:

• We’re in a drought right now (literally). It’s been in the mid to upper 90’s for over 3 weeks straight with no rain! That may not seem like a big deal to all our friends in Georgia or Oklahoma but keep in mind that we have no A/C in our house or in our car. It’s been miserable to say the least. And you know how it is when everyone’s hot and sweaty, right? Yep... hot= aggravated and agitated. And if it wasn’t hard enough trying to live here as it is- just add suffocating heat to the mix and it’s enough to push any normal human over the edge. If you think it’s not that big of a deal just wait until July then turn your thermostat to the off position (and leave it off) then get back to me: )

• This past week we thought that Robert was going to either die or have to be hospitalized. It was serious. He wasn’t eating (which is an indicator of something being ‘majorly wrong’), he wasn’t drinking and he laid lifeless for almost 5 days straight. We thought he had gotten dehydrated because of the heat. So we had to force him to drink fluids every hour for 5 days (and praying that he would recover) so that we didn’t have to take him to the hospital. Now don’t go judging us because we didn’t immediately take him to the hospital. Because here, the hospital isn’t a good place. To take someone to the hospital here where we live is like rolling the dice on whether or not they’re ever gonna make it out alive. For real. If you’ve ever been to a third world country hospital- you know what I’m talking about. We’ve been there and it’s literally like walking into the corridors of Hell. We’ve had 2 friends die in the hospital just this past year from things that seemed treatable. So we decided to try and treat him on our own at home (as of the posting of this blog, he’s totally recovered).

Robert acting like he's going to kiss a giant slug he just caught.

• Our car broke down again (2nd time this week) and we’re stranded here on the mountain. It’s being repaired and hopefully we’ll get it back in a few days, but not having transportation and being way out in the middle of nowhere isn’t good.

Our car being put onto a tow truck. Just one of the many exciting times we've experienced with our car: )

• Maryssa and Kevin (Maryssa’s boyfriend) wrecked on a motorcycle 2 days ago. They were coming across the highway and hit an oil slick on the road, which caused them to wipeout and they both hit the ground hard. They’re still in a lot of pain because of the road rash but no broken bones. Then, to top it all off, Kevin was in another motorcycle accident this morning! Someone was driving their motorcycle (too fast) up the mountain and collided with Kevin as he was going down the mountain. They were both thrown from their bikes and the other guy went to the hospital for stitches but Kevin is OK.

Maryssa and Kevin

Kevin's leg after the accident

• We’re being attacked by some kind of super-beetle. It’s half beetle- half flea- half demon (I know- you can’t have 3 halves. But you get the point, right?). It looks innocent enough but when it bites you it burns like fire and you immediately get these raised welts on your skin. And of course they usually only bite you at night when you finally get into bed to rest from the hard day you just had! One bit me last night and It literally looked like someone took a hot curling iron and touched it to my skin 3-4 times.

My chest after getting bit by the 'super beetle.' FYI- the picture makes me look fatter and whiter than I actually am. lol!

• We’re having some major behavioral issues with some of our adopted kids. I won’t get too specific or name names but the things that have been happening have seriously made us want to throw in the towel. Because, after almost 6 years (yep, it’ll 6 years in March), we just don’t know if we’re gonna be able to help them. We don’t know if we’re equipped. And that breaks our heart as parents. To invest so much time and energy into someone and see no results is very discouraging.

• Our caretaker (the person who lives here on the property and helps us maintain the camp) basically told me that he wants more money or he’s leaving! We don’t have the money to give him a raise, so long-story-short, he’s leaving at the end of the month. He’s been here on the property for 5 years now and has been a huge asset to us. We’re already overwhelmed with all the work and now, with him leaving, the outlook is bleak.

• Our water is giving us problems. Try living without water... you can’t! I’ve been up and down ‘the hill’ at least 7 times in the last 48 hours trying to fix it too. We get our water from the mountain. It runs through a pipe that lays on top of the ground and goes into a 500 gallon holding tank on ‘the hill’ just above our house. If you’ve ever been here, you know what I’m talking about when I say, “the hill.” Anyway, with the extreme heat we’ve been having, it’s caused all the fittings to loosen on the pipe that runs from the water source to the tank and from the tank to our house. And you don’t know it’s happened until the tank is empty. Then you have to go and find out where it’s disconnected or where there’s air in the pipe and bleed it. And, of course, this usually happens at night! Nothing like trouncing around in the jungle at night...Yippee: )

So that’s just a taste of what our life looks like this week. I could list out more things but those are just the highlights (or lowlights- depending on how you look at it). Now, on the ministry side- things look great. Kids are being ministered to and loved, teenagers are experiencing the power of the Gospel, and adults are being challenged to give their lives to Jesus and truly follow Him. But everything on the other side (i.e., our personal lives and the nuts and bolts side of the ministry) is under tremendous pressure. We’re over-worked, stretched beyond what we can sustain, we haven’t had a real break in over 2 years, we’re constantly feeling like we’re at the end of our rope, we’re very lonely being here and we feel like we’re pretty much by ourselves, ... so it feels like we’re gonna breakdown.

So what do we do? Remember, there’s only a few choices:

-We can quit.

-We can find something to temporarily take our mind off of the situation.

-We can ignore the situation (which isn’t possible).

-Or we can press-in and fight to get closer to God through the situation. 

Here’s the funny thing (funny ironic- not funny haha)... as difficult and crappy as our life is right now, the first three choices aren’t even on the radar. And for me- that’s huge. I can trace back over my walk with Christ and see where quitting, finding an alternate route or just immersing myself in something to take my mind off the uncomfortable situation was usually my first reaction. But not now. Things are different. 

When I was a new believer (and even through some of my years in Bible college) most of the voices that were speaking into my life never talked about how difficult it was to truly follow Jesus. They only talked about how to be blessed and victorious and how to go to the next level and how God had a purpose and destiny for my life and how that I was more than a conquerer and... you get the picture, right? Not that any of those things aren’t true, because they are. The only problem is that there’s also difficulty, struggle, hardship, persecution and trials that are also a part of following Jesus as well. 

The thing that I’ve learned is that where I experience the most pain and where I reach the end of my rope and where I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel... in those places- that’s where I see the hand of God the most. That’s where I see the greatest victories. That’s where I experience His presence and His help in the greatest measure. Not in the good times. Not in the easy times. Not when everything is going smooth. Because let’s face it, we all tend to ‘not’ depend on God when everything’s just clicking along and everything’s good, right? And we tend to ‘not’ have a mindset of “God, I really need you right now” when everything is comfortable and there are no problems on the horizon. 

So even though it feels like breakdown right now, we know that as we press harder into God and continue to rely on Him and His strength- that’s where we’re gonna find the peace and the joy that we so desperately need. 

What about you? How do you handle difficulty? Which path do you usually take? Do you see that you experience God in a mightier way in difficulty or when everything’s going great? Just something to think about...

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it’s full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

                                                           James 1:2-4

Hanging Tough,

Jim and MJ