We’re Under Attack

(FYI- this is another one of those blogs that I’m writing just so that, years from now, we’ll be able to remember some of the things that we've encountered here in Brazil.)

We're officially under an all out assault by everything that creeps, crawls or fly’s here in the jungle, so "We're Under Attack" seemed like a fitting title for this blog. 

We pretty much see snakes, spiders, bats, giant lizards and such all the time here. It’s just part of living where we live. But it usually comes in waves. We’ll have a spider infestation at the house and then, when things have settled down, we’ll experience a bee attack or something like that. Then someone will see a Jararaca (one of the deadliest snakes on the planet that just-so-happen to live on our property) and we’ll kill it and things will be quiet (as far as reptiles go) for a week or so then it’ll be something else. No big deal.

But for some reason it seems like all of creation has joined forces to launch an all-out-assault on our family- all at the same time! It’s almost comical: ) All of what I'm about to share has happened just within the last week.

Maryssa had been complaining about rats living in the roof above her bedroom. I had blown it off because I really didn't believe her. I had seen these little blue birds flying in and out of the roof where her room is, on the second story (making a nest), so I just thought it was that. But then Matthew said he heard some in his bedroom at night as well. I was still a little suspect though. Hmmm. Could this be true? Rats in our house? We hadn't seen any evidence of rats in the house so, hoping against hope, I shrugged it off and just told them it was just birds (and basically ignored them both).

Then MJ told me she had heard some in the ceiling (which is also the floor of the second story of our house- Matthew and Maryssa’s floors) one night. OK, seriously? There are very few things on this planet that freak me out and rats just so happen to be one of them. 

I remember hearing a rat story from a missionary from the Marshall Islands several years ago. He was telling us all these things that rats did to his family. He even said that a rat had ripped one of his toe nails off while he was sleeping one night! Say what!? Yep, while he was sleeping one night a rat climbed into his bed and literally ripped his toe nail right off of his big toe! What’s up with that?

So, thinking about rats being in our house??? No way. I can’t do it. So I told them it was probably just a friendly jungle squirrel. Scurrying around for nuts or something. But it was NOT rats. Obviously I was living in denial at this point.

Then it happened... MJ had a face-to-face confrontation with a giant rat in the laundry room one day and that was it. Something had to be done. So I went and purchased a handful of the gnarliest rat traps you’ve ever seen. These things were made out of sheet metal. And in addition to the traditional spring-loaded-bait-thing that snaps onto the rat when it tries to eat the cheese, it had these angry looking sharp-metal-teeth all over it. Surely this would work: )

But after several nights of trying to catch/kill the rats with cheese, meat and even peanut buttered bread- I was just left discouraged each morning as I checked the traps. They either took the bait and left the traps un-sprung or they just totally ignored the entire thing. Bottom line… this wasn’t working.

So we went into town and I purchased these rat bait stations. It’s those plastic things that you put poison in and close the lid and lock it. Then, a rat can enter one of the two holes on the station eat some poison, then exit the station through either hole. Then after a little while it starts to feel a little woozy as the poison begins to kick-in and then BAM! It’s dead. Sounds great, right? : )

So I put a few of the rat bait stations upstairs over Maryssa and Matthew’s rooms, one under the couch upstairs and one in the laundry room. The next night as Matthew was walking upstairs he saw one (who had obviously eaten some of the poison) sitting on a ladder that was leaning against the wall. He yelled down to me and I ran, grabbing the first thing I saw- an umbrella. An umbrella, you say? Yes, an umbrella. I know- weak, right?

Anyway, with umbrella in hand, I ran upstairs and began to beat this disease ridden rodent into eternity. Mission accomplished. Now we could all rest easy because this was probably the only one. Ha! Man, we started seeing drunken (i.e., poisoned) rats all over the place. So as they would stumble out of their hiding places we’d just smash them with whatever was the closest. Then even our dogs got into the action. One morning, as soon as MJ got up and the let the dogs out, half of them came back with live rats in their mouths. Rats that were half dead because of the poison they had eaten the night before!

Here's the rat that was beaten to death with the umbrella.
This thing was no joke. It was the size of a small cat! 

Here's another one that we got the next morning: )

But that’s when it all started. You’re probably gonna think I’m crazy, but I think the rats sent word to all of the other animals/pests in the jungle and now they’re in cahoots trying to take revenge on us. Over the last week we’ve been hit from every side.

I woke up the other morning and could tell there was something wrong with my stomach. So as I was brushing my teeth I lifted my shirt to see that I had been bitten numerous times by a spider during the night! Actually I had over 40 bites just on my stomach (I had MJ count them, haha!) and you could see the poison spread under my skin with each passing day.

Over 40 spider bites in one night. Great: )

So it was war! I went and bought every JIMO bomb they had in Terra Boa and it was on like Donkey Kong (do people even say that any more? lol!). We lit-off 3 times the recommended amount of bombs that the label required because this was stupid. That many bites while you sleep? It was crazy.

No, it's not the 4th of July. But we definitely 'lit it up' this pst week!

But then the next night Kevin (Maryssa’s boyfriend) was just minding his own business when he felt something crawling on his arm. So he brushed it off only to realize that it was a bat! That’s right, a bat (a.k.a. a rat with wings) was crawling up his arm inside the house!

The bat that was crawling up Kevin's arm.
You can't see the wings because they retract when they're dead: )

One of the giant lizards (that have built a nest next to the lake) attacked one of our ducks and killed it. The mosquitoes have been r-e-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s, these bugs we call no-see-ums (because you never see them- they just bite you and they’re gone) have been eating us alive, the leaf cutters (those big black ants that eat everything) have been wreaking havoc on all our plants, and the list could go on and on. It's an all-out invasion.

Then, if all that’s not bad enough, it seems like every day we’re killing snakes- and of course they’re mostly deadly ones! One during the camp at the pavilion (with tons of kids around), one on the trail leading to the obstacle course (with kids/dogs all together on the trail) and even one on the front porch (it was on it’s way towards Maryssa’s kittens). Why are they even here? We’ve got tons of people around, dogs running all over the place… it seems like they’d stay where we weren’t. Not where all the action is, right?

The one that we killed during the camp. Small but deadly.

The fangs on this Jararaca were like 2" long hyper dermic needles!

I hit this one so hard with a bush axe that I broke the blade right off the handle.

Another one bites the dust. This one wasn't playing around either.

A tree snake that was trying to get Maryssa's kittens.

But here’s the funny thing (funny-ironic not funny-haha)…even though this last week has been chock full of excitement- we’re not even shaken by any of this stuff. If you would've told me 4 years ago, when we were making plans to leave the comfort of our home on 4040 Lakeside Blvd in Monroe, that we would be moving to a place where you actually have to constantly be on guard against all kinds of venomous snakes, spiders, rats, bats, foxes, various jungle cats, giant lizards and every kind of insect imaginable… if you would have told me this is what our life would look like- I would've told you that you were crazy. We’re city folk: )

But having been here and having lived here (and still currently living in the middle of it)- we wouldn't trade our lives with anyone. And that may sound crazy, but there’s something about being in the center of God’s will… even though the attacks are real and the attacks are sometimes painful (spiritually, physically, emotionally) it’s totally worth it. Because He’s totally worth it.

Using the Benadryl Cream Like a Madman,

Jim