I’m not trying to sound morbid but have you ever thought about how fragile life is and how our lives could be over at any moment? For some reason I woke up the other morning around 4:15am and couldn't go back to sleep. I laid there in bed and prayed for a few people that The Lord had brought to my mind, I thought about the next Sunday’s sermon for a bit, I thought about all the stuff going on in our lives right now and then the thought came to me- “what if MJ died? What would I do? Is there anything that I would regret not telling her or doing for her?” That’s weird, right?
But, as weird as it was, I really felt like I needed to make sure that she knew how much I loved her, how much I appreciate her and what a blessing she is to me. I couldn't imagine life without her and hopefully, God willing, we’ll be together for many more years on this planet. So I decided that I wouldn't take a chance by not doing something that I could regret later and that, when she woke up, I needed to let her know how I felt.
But anyway, after about an hour of thinking about that kind of stuff and not being able to go back to sleep, I decided to get up.
As I sat there at the kitchen table (drinking my coffee and thinking) Matthew came downstairs to get ready for school. It was about 5:30am at this point and it was still pitch black dark outside. But here was my boy, getting up on his own, and heading out for school. I’m very proud of him. He’s got way more motivation and discipline than I ever had at his age, that’s for sure.
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| Here's Matthew making fun of me and the way "he says" I take selfies. Whatever... |
When he left I started thinking about what he was doing. He was going out (by himself) into the darkness, getting on a motorcycle and riding down the dark-winding-mountainous-jungle-dirt roads to town where he’ll get into a van and then ride 40 minutes on one of the world’s most dangerous highways (because of all the semi-trucks and how they drive- it’s crazy) so that he can try and get an education.
If this was a math equation it would look something like this:
my boy+ darkness+jungle+mountains+motorcycle+being alone+dangerous highway= wait a minute… this isn’t good, right? What if he died today? Is there anything I’d regret?
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| Just imagine having to drive 4km down the mountain (through the jungle) in the dark as a teenager- all alone. |
After that, I started thinking about all the other things that could potentially “take out anyone in our family” at any moment. Here, I’ll list just a few of them for you:
- The snakes. We’re killing these stupid things daily because they're everywhere. And, of course, most of them are poisonous and we’re 45 minutes away from the closest hospital and there’s no anti-venom available for us to keep on hand at the camp.
Here's one of the Jararaca that we killed (chopped his head off with a machete) a while back
- The rat epidemic we’re facing. They're all over the place! And the disease that these things carry is deadly. Not only did we have a friend of the family die a couple years ago from these things but there was even a young boy, from our kids’ school who died last month because of coming in contact with rat urine/feces. And our house is overrun with them. We've got so many bait stations and rat traps out right now- it’s ridiculous! What’s ironic is that I’m actually glad we have snakes in the house because at least they'll eat some of the rats!
Here, you can see rat droppings all over some sound equipment that we have on a shelf
Rat droppings all over a shelf in the laundry room... great, huh?
Here's just one of the ones we killed (in a rat trap) last week! These things are disgusting!
- The mosquito problem. We don't just have the mosquitos that carry Dengue Fever and the Zika Virus here on the mountain- now we’ve also got ones that carry something called the Chikungunya Fever! It’s so dangerous that the local government is threatening to come and inspect everyone’s property looking for any stagnant water and giving fines to anyone that has anything from a stagnant pond to an empty container laying around that could potentially hold water and allow the mosquito larvae to hatch. And they actually have a chart that meticulously breaks down each infraction and gives the cost of each fine which ranges from R$50-R$300 for each violation.
The paper they gave us with a breakdown of all the fines for things on our property that could potentially be a breeding ground for any of these mosquitos.
Information (they gave our kids at school last month) with preventative measures for how to safeguard our family from the mosquito problem.
And Matthew just told us last week that one of his classmates at school has an uncle that just contracted Dengue and is in the hospital right now. So, these things are definitely real and are actual threats.
I could continue my list of "potential death items" haha- but you get the point, right? This is the kind of stuff that was flooding my mind as I sat there that morning.
Now, before you start thinking I must be living in fear, let me just say, “I'm not fearful in the slightest.” Fear is bondage. And there’s absolutely zero dread or terror attached to what I’m talking about (or what I was thinking about that morning) because I totally trust in the sovereignty of God (that’s another subject for another time) and my life is His to either take or to give me more of.
No, I’m talking about being cognisant (and I mean really aware) of the fact that we’re all dying and we’re all one breath closer to death than we were a second ago. No amount of positive thinking and no matter how much you don’t think about death- it doesn't matter. It’s on the way- like it or not.
So, to not think about it (i.e., denial) seems stupid. Why not just embrace it? Why not just run right up to death (not literally- just the thought of it) and throw your arms around it, give it a big fat kiss and then look it (death) right in the eyes and say, “Bam! Now what?” Because it has no power over us as believers in Christ. To be absent from the body is to be present with The Lord, right?
And I think that we especially need to embrace the fact that we have people in our lives today that very well may not be here tomorrow. So, what do we do with that thought? Well, that’s the whole point of this blog today.
Because, to be honest with you, the main thing that was running through my mind the other morning was “what if MJ or one of my kids died today? Was I sure that they would be with The Lord and that they were really saved?”
As parents, we can’t ‘make’ our kids follow Jesus. We can only pray that as we give them the right information and we model what that looks like in front of them (by actually following Jesus ourselves)- that God will pursue them, repentance will take place and that their relationship with Jesus will be truly personal- not just something that belongs to Mom and Dad.
We can’t just assume that because they're growing-up in a christian home (or married to someone who’s a Christ follower), they’re moral, they obey and that on the outside everything looks fine- that they're actually putting their trust in Jesus. Because that’s the only thing that will ensure their salvation- trusting in Jesus.
So, as awkward as it may seem- we need to ask. We need to ask the people in our lives (whether it’s a spouse, a child or even a friend) where they stand with The Lord and if they know where they're going when they die. If they answer- “no" then we need to share the Gospel with them.
And if they answer- “I'm good and yes, I'm going to Heaven” then we need to take it a step further and ask them how they know. We can’t just assume anything.
The answer can’t be “because I prayed a prayer” or “because I walked an isle” or "because I grew up in a christian home” or anything like that.
Their answer has GOT to be something like "because I’m a sinner. And because I am a sinner I am guilty before a Holy God. And my debt to God was un-payable (by me, anyway) so Christ came and paid my debt by dying on the cross and shedding His blood on my behalf. And now my trust is in Him and the sacrifice that He made for me.”
If our kids, or our spouse or our friend can’t give an answer like that- then we’ve got to explain the Gospel to them. It’s the only way that we can have peace of mind if something happened to them and they actually breathed their last breath, right?
I know this is an unusual blog today. But it’s one that I really felt led to write. And what I’ve written are things that I actually felt like I needed to do with my family. And, even though we’re missionaries and pastors, it’s still awkward. To be blunt with people and to make them give an answer for what they believe is, for lack of a better word, weird.
It has the potential to create tension and it can even be a little emotional. But to know that the people in our lives are really saved is totally worth any discomfort. What do you think? Is it worth investing a little time to ask the people in our lives these questions? Especially if it’s someone who grew up in church and whose even lived in a ministry family their whole life.
Oh yeah, and just because you're not living with all the same crazy stuff that we are doesn't mean that danger isn't lurking around every corner where you live too. Your craziness just looks different than ours. Just something to consider.
Love Ya,
Jim
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