Spending it All

Our oldest daughter (my princess), Maryssa will be 18 tomorrow. Crazy, huh? Man, it seems like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms for the first time, looking into her beautiful eyes, not able to believe she was actually mine. She was the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. 

Maryssa, Michael and Matthew in 2000'

Here we are 18 years later and she’s all grown up now. She’s still beautiful. Every time I look at her I still can’t believe she’s mine. She makes me (and her mother) very proud. And no matter how old she gets, she’ll always be my little girl: )

Well, along with growing up comes things that you’d wish would never happen. And for us it did. I can remember it like it was yesterday. This 16 year old Brazilian boy (named Kevin) came and talked to me on March 20, 2013 and asked permission to date Maryssa. She had never had a boyfriend so this was all new territory for Me and MJ. So, after the interrogation, I mean- the talk, I said, “OK.” I laid out all the ground rules and tried to convey to Him as lovingly as possible that if he ever hurt her I would hurt him. For real. I said it in love, of course: ) 

I talked to him about respecting her and boundaries and all that good stuff so that he would know what was expected of him. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as you would’ve  imagined (at least for me, haha). It’s been over a year since we had that initial conversation and things have gone really good. He treats her with respect and he's a really nice kid.

Maryssa and Kevin last year 

He’s at the house pretty much every day and they do everything together. They both graduate this year. He goes to school in the morning and then works all afternoon (about 4 hrs) too. He makes a whopping $2.50 an hour which is the average for this part of Brazil (the mountains/jungle). And he works hard. Really hard. And for all his hard work he only brings home about $100 per week. I’ve made that much in an hour before (landscaping in the States)! So to work hard all week and only bring home $100 bucks is hard for me to swallow. But that’s just common for people here on the mountain.

A couple weeks ago Me and MJ took Maryssa and Kevin to the mall (a little over an hour away) so that they could go on 'a date' by themselves. Neither one of them have a car so we took them and dropped them off and then went on our own date somewhere else: )

When we met them a few hours later Maryssa was carrying a shopping bag back to the car. Kevin had bought her a pair of boots that she had been wanting for a while. It’s those kind of boots that kinda look like a cross between the boots women wore back in the 20’s and the Dr Martin’s girls wore back in the 80's. I guess they’re popular now, I don’t know? But one thing I do know is that they cost over $100. So my initial reaction was- wow. That was very nice of him. To work all week and then spend it all on your girlfriend for a pair of shoes? That was impressive: )

But then I started to feel bad. To think that this kid worked hard-manual-labor for an entire week and then only to have a pair of shoes to show for it? Man. That stinks. I wanted to tell Maryssa to not let him spend money like that on her. Then I even considered sitting down with him and telling him not to do stuff like that. It just seemed too extravagant for this part of the world. It’s one thing to spend some of what you have on someone- but to spend it all? It didn’t seem right.

But, as I thought about it, I decided not to say anything. Because I understood. I understood that when you really love someone that’s what you do. You spend it all. You hold nothing back. You give 100% even if your 100% only equals a pair of boots. 

It’s been over 25 years since MJ and I dated but I can remember what it was like. I wanted to spend everything on her. My money, my time, my emotions, my thoughts- everything. So I get it. Now eventually you need to start saving money for the future and that will come in time but ‘spending it all’ is just normal when love is involved, right?

I can remember growing up and dating different girls. And there was a difference between ‘liking’ someone and ‘loving' someone. Just because I liked you (when we were dating) and you were my girlfriend- it was a far cry from loving you and wanting to spend everything I had on you. Now don’t get me wrong- I was nice to you but I wasn’t going 'all in’ and spending everything on you. Because love is ‘all in.’ You remember those days, right?

In my mind the same concept applies to our relationship with God. If we truly love Him, there’s something inside of us that wants to 'spend it all.’ There’s this feeling of not wanting to hold anything back. It just compels you to take risks that you normally wouldn’t take because you’re in love with Him.

People (Americans and Brazilians alike) tell us all the time that they can’t believe that we’re doing what we’re doing. That we left pretty much everything to come to a place where we have very little (compared to what we had) and that we live in the conditions that we live in. I’m not gonna lie to you… after almost 3 years of being here- it’s still difficult. But as difficult as it is psychically- it’s still a no-brainer and we don’t look at it as a sacrifice at all. Why? Because He asked us to come, we love Him and we want to spend it all for Him.

So, I don’t care if it’s Brazil, Africa, China or the moon- if He asks we’d go. And we’d do it without hesitation. Because that’s what love does. It spends it all. It causes you to do things that look crazy to other people but look totally logical and rational to you (the one who’s in love). And it’s because of the love that you have on the inside that you feel compelled to do what you do.

So if you’re feeling like God’s asking you to do something that looks totally crazy to everyone else- go ahead and do it! Let your love for Him propel you to do whatever it is that He’s leading you to do. Spend it all. It’s gonna be OK. Because you’re in love and that’s what love does, right?

Love Ya!

Jim