This Is Stupid!

Have you ever seen something and thought, “that’s stupid” or seen something that someone was doing and thought “that doesn’t make any sense”? Now let me preface the rest of this blog with this statement:
“I am from the United States, yes. But I’m not so arrogant to think that we (Americans) know everything and I realize that we don’t always do things the right way. I also believe that people from the U.S. are NOT better than people from other countries. I’m not one of those guys. I do think that God has blessed us and that we are privileged to have been born American though.” I love my country (cue the Lee Greenwood song here...)
Having said that, and even though I’m running he risk of ticking off all my Brazilian friends, I’ve made a few observations that I just don’t understand. And I’m just mentioning them because I just don’t get it and I need some clarification. There are soooo many things I could list but here are just a few:

Lightbulbs.
We all use them. No matter what country we live in, right? Well in Brazil lightbulbs are sold a little different. In the U.S. you can buy a pack of 4-100w bulbs at the grocery store for about $2.50. Here you can buy 1 bulb at the grocery store for about $1. A little bit more expensive but not that big of a deal. The weird thing is that before you take it to the register, to pay for it, you have to take it out of the box and screw it into a live light fixture (that the store has conveniently provided for you in the lightbulb area) to check it just in case the bulb doesn’t work. They do this because they don’t allow returns/refunds on faulty lightbulbs.
Here’s my theory of why they do this. There must be an epidemic of faulty lightbulbs being manufactured here that makes this necessary. That coupled with the fact that there’s a massive group of people who go around scamming stores trying to return lightbulbs. I realize the bulbs don’t cost $1,000 each but that just means that you have to return a lot more bulbs to make good money. Forget the fact that having a “live” light receptacle in the isle of the grocery store seems like a liability and is wasting electricity because it’s always on... but it’s better than having to return $1 to all those people trying to rip off the store returning lightbulbs. I don’t know, just a theory...

Roadside Maintenance
I’m use to seeing people cut grass back in the States along the highway. There’s usually a big tractor with a “bush hog” attachment or a big mower deck cutting the grass along the road shoulders and in the median. 1 guy, 1 machine. Here it’s different. They don’t have lawnmowers but they do have weedeaters. So, they’ll have 7-8 guys with weedeaters and another 4-5 guys standing there holding up these screens so that debris doesn’t get thrown into the roadway or hit a passing car. They maintain ALL the roadways like this. Do you realize how big Brazil is? It’s the 5th largest country in the world and has thousands and thousands of miles of roadways to maintain. Not only does this take 20x longer but it’s also turning a job that should take 1 person (with a mower) and turning into one that is using 13 men (with weedeaters) instead.
Here’s my theory on this. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a conspiracy devised by the weedeater manufacturers who are controlling the lawn maintenance industry here in Brazil. Let’s just call them the “Weedeater Cartel.” If someone comes into the country with a lawnmower they “whack em” (no, not weedwhack em, I mean whack em like on the Saprano’s) so that they can maintain their domination of the roadside maintenance equipment racket. That way they sell more weedeaters and weedeater string and nobody has lawnmowers. That’s the only thing that makes sense, so that must be it...

Napkins
When you eat, you use a napkin to wipe your mouth and hands off with, right? Well, they have napkins here too. But rather than making the napkin out of a material that could actually “absorb something,” their napkins are made out of a material that has zero absorbency capabilities at all! It barely has the capability to smear, much less absorb. As soon as you start wiping this paper-thin-wax-like-thing begins to denigrate right in your hand. It’s almost magical. One minute it’s there and then... poof! It’s gone.
I have no theory on why the Brazilian napkin is made like this. Maybe they found out that “real” napkins are the leading cause of acne. Or maybe they found out that wiping something off of the corners of your mouth with something made of an absorbent material, that actually worked, causes skin cancer? I really don’t know. So, for me, this will probably remain one of the mysteries of Brazil... oh well.

OK. Obviously I’m just being sarcastic about all of these things. Even though all of the things are true, the explanations aren’t (just wanted to make sure you knew that, haha). But looking at them from my point of view they just don’t make any sense. To “me” it doesn’t make sense so that’s why in “my mind” it all just seems stupid. But just because these things don’t make sense to me doesn’t mean that they’re stupid. There’s probably a perfect explanation for all of these (and the hundred’s of other things I’ve seen). But rather than just believing that there’s a good explanation I automatically think their way is wrong and I could do it better. Even though I’m in their country I still believe “the American way” would be better. That’s just wrong. I mean who knows?... they could just be trying to create more jobs by having the “weedeater brigade” rather than just having 1 guy on a mower. Or maybe they’re protecting the environment by not having big-thick napkins?... I still can’t crack the lightbulb mystery but I’m sure there’s a reason. The thing is, I think we’re all like that to some extent though. Especially when it comes to the things of God. We think we know better than Him. Now, we’d never actually say that out loud, but we think it. God says, “forgive” and we think that doesn’t apply to us because that person really hurt me so God understands. Or He says, “submit to your husband” but you think just because your husband is a knucklehead it doesn’t apply to you. Or Jesus says, “don’t worry about anything” but you think that He understands when you worry because you’ve got so much that you’re dealing with right now. Man, we’re so arrogant! Just like I’m being arrogant when I think all these things here in Brazil would be better “my way”... we’re being arrogant when we think that God’s way of dealing with relationships, marriage, work, childrearing and problems etc. would be better our way. I think that’s something we have to war against and get out of our lives. He knows what’s best, not us. So, if He’s told you to handle a certain situation a certain way (according to His Word) just go ahead and do it... even if it doesn’t make sense: )

Still Trying to Wipe My Face with This Napkin,
Jim

PS - to all my Brazilian friends... I love you and your country. It's an honor being here with you and hope God allows us to stay a long time: )